oh my gosh!

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! OH MY GOSH I FEEL SO HAPPY!

got first place in drama! OH YEA! HI 5 RUBY!!!!!!

BUMP IT!

our ryde eisteddfod was on at 7, but since gemma had hers at....forgot....earlier than ours, we left the house at.....3 ish? and was there at....4ish?

gemmas section was awesome! all of it! ruby drew on my book and i tried to shush elbert up....to no success. gosh gemma was so good! not fair that she didnt get sth.
the dinner was awesome too! i loooove lemon chicken rice! dont know why. oh yea! and im definitely going shopping at top ryde city! soooo going! lol we were practising everywhere to be in sync with each other. ruby was talking about how funny it was if the other competitors werent there. haha i was like wishing so badly that they wouldnt come. theyre so PRO! and i nearly tripped while ruby was leaning over me. :P

ahahahaha at 6:35 (why did we get there so early again?), we went inside. so damn nervous. and we met ppl in the next section! ahaha.

i was sooo nervous (did i mention that?) . i could hear ruby repeating her lines again and again under her breath. and then the lady asked for competitor number....1. i could hear my heart beating so loudly. i bet i was sweating as well. but!.....they werent here. only one of the pair came.

and then it was our turn. the lady asked for number 2. ruby and i put our hands up, and then were called to the front. i could feel my feet swaying under me. and i nearly forgot where i was to stand. :O i croaked the poets name out (yea ruby. the strepsils beforehand didnt work) but rubys voice was loud enough to cover my voice in the first verse. im so glad that we didnt make ANY mistakes (wooooooo oh yea).

once we finished, we sat down again. my hands were shaking. even after i had performed. my head was spinning from the effort of not making any mistakes. and then.....competitor 3.....but they werent here either. :O i was so tempted to do the awkward turtle. but our adjudicator came up and we were handed our TROPHIES! OMGOGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOGOOMG! the audience were laughing. and ruby and i were smiling! hahahahahhahaha.

Ruby! i officially pronounce you as psychic! CONGRATULATIONS!

SPEAKING OF CONGRATULATIONS! congratualtions to any lance corporals! WOOOOO! youre one step away from COPORAL!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i could hear claps echoing in my mind. i saw a movement to my left and i quickly copied the movement. OH! i nearly forgot to bow! i willed my feet to move forward. not seeing anyone in the crowd. tripping on the carpet and landing neatly in my seat, i heard congratualtions and praises. all we could do was wait for the result.

"is competitor number three here?" the lady spoke.

the silence in the room was uncomfortable for a moment, then the atmosphere of the room suddenly was lighter, amused. i was tempted to put my hands together and wiggle my thumbs.

the next few minutes were blurred. i was so happy, and i could see my partner and her whole family were too. i was so proud to be her partner. all i remember was standing up shakily, hiding behind my partners back and making her stand in front of me, and then receiving my trophy. i wasnt expecting it to be so heavy. usually it would be cheap asian plastic.

and the last thing i remember was walking out with a huge smile, saying my good lucks to my friends, and walking out, with a huge smile on my face.

omg.....

omg. omgomgomgomgomgomgomg. i havent blogged in so long (D:)

aish! sorry. ill start blogging again. hopefully continue it.

ive just read sumiis blog and now im all serious. which means that ill probably write really srs. :)

ive just had a think about self confidence in general. growing up in a very pressurised environment, i never had the chance to think about how important self confidence is. more like thinking about hwk, assignments and grades. but now that i can juggle a few things at once, i actually realise how much ive changed through the years. certainly not all the changes have been good. but nevertheless i like myself now.

i read a lot (and i mean alot) or stories, or short novels, or even just comments, about girls (and guys) dress for others, act for others and so forth. i dont know if its just me or not, but i find this very.....(i cant think of a word) desprate maybe? more like ridiculous. not trying to sound vain, but self confidence usually starts by accepting yourself. instead of others accepting you. i used to make others accept me and now i realise how stupid i was. and seeing (and reading) magazines and gmh posts and 6billionsecret posts makes me sad sometimes. sometimes i just think about how the world today is so damn fake.

i realise now that im not very good at peeling and slicing food. i was peeling and cuting potatoes yesterday, and i stabbed myself, making my hand look as if there is a blister or sth. and i peeled 7 potatoes in 10-13 minutes. hooray! time for self improvement.

elective choices have really got me stressed. WHAT AM I GOING TO PICK???? so many ppl just list them off the top of their heads. but im still stuck :S should i do electives for my enjoyment? or to meet friends? or to hang out with friends? or.....to learn sth new? or for my studies? for my parents? NOOOOOOOO too many choices! (more like not enough elective choices).

and....thats all i can talk about now.

byeee
love kyexx

feeling happy! and random ==

haha yay! for those who know, my computer used to be in a little corner of my room. but now its on my huge desk. wow so much better. and when im watching tvb dramas, or looking at mvs, its so cool! its like a mini tv. =D (Y) like.now it feels like im the big boss behind the big desk in a big company. soooo coool! :)

ive done so much cleaning and sooooo much shopping and now.....assignments! ==" oh what fun. i havent really ah....ehehe started. i kinda have so much to do (yea and im still blogging. dont ask why) but everytime i try i kinda lose my will to finish my piling hwk and so, yea. i havent really done much. ehe....guilty.

have you ever gone shopping, feeling really bored, and then suddenly see your friend? and youre going no way....it cant be! yea. surprising enough this happens a lot. well for me anyways. probably because i go to carlingford village a lot (and thats where all the asians shop :P). not only is this surprising and shocking, but it can also make many awkward turtles. specially when you dont wanna say hi first. and especially when they dont call you by full name, or just by name, and instead call you by "__________'s daughter/son" ==" now thats really awkward.

haha anyways. back to hwk. ==

kyexx

and a story to go with it

story:

sitting there made her whole body feel like frozen ice. her eyes darted across the screen, reading her freinds curses as they tried to straighten out her mistakes, her lack of trust. useless, selfish. she may as well cancel the damn trip. she was feeeling that annoyed. nothing, NOTHING worked out right for her. always a perfect plan, a twist, and then everything works out right, cept she is left in a shower of a mixture of guilt and shame. tears. her mind now worked to find responses, sth to fit her into the convo. she slammed her hands against the keyboard. then a crack. oh crap.....im screwed.

and though this is related to me, its not for the current situation. i wanted to write this a long time ago.

frustration

i wont keybash so that i dont spam everyone on hwk convo but......kawfdihasljdfnl;KAJDILahkdjna;dljWAKBFDN,LAS\KCY HA\kwlsj;ud cskjzncf;\iopdwjnLKDX'|auicHKLAJSNCM./;\Z;KCFLIHESKJCNM;\ZICPSAHBNF,MD.C\'CIUASDHKJFNM;SKZCOPYASDHJKCVZXHSDZNXC,\ZS.JKDLIWhnL;sKJXDCHZJSBNCM;L\ZUCOIASN. im done.
but i have to apologise. i ah....i cant believe everything damn backfires on me.
argh. back to feeling useless

our world today. tsk tsk

today i woke up early (from the startling sounds of our door closing and opening. :P my mum was in a rush) and i rushed around the house for about half an hour to an hour and then left to go to the optometrists. i dont get it. my dad HAS to choose the most far away one, which is also the one who sells saline at like...$5....TOO EXPENSIVE for my standards. anyways, the train trip is always so awkward. my dad and i kinda sit together with everyone else around. so squished and so...loud. there always seems to be like a group of teens in showy clothing (or baggy) and like....the talk like there is a tornado next to them. irritating. and then my dad either takes a nap or reads the asian newspaper, whilst i have to find sth to occupy myself.

but somehow (miraculously) we managed a conversation. and we were comparing his gen with our gen. and boy am i surprised. im kinda glad that i was brought up asian style. some of the customs are so much more practical. i think the one i dislike the most is the ah forced marriage but other than that i think the customs are very good. anyways. i swear the teens of our gen are.....well different. the poor children usually dont get much of an education. the rich children are likely to be involved in not so good things. and our world is ending. literally. we are the leaders of the future gen! well yea. cept it isnt our fault that the world is ending, that we have not so nice influences and that we are exposed to the nasty habits that adults perform. but we have to face the consequences. and i have to say. i dont like my gen. but thats just me.

on a slightly better tone, i think im going to be adding a little weight (NOT fatter) see how thats changed? anyways, i have all my food stacked up in the cupboard. its easier for me to get, but easier for me to add weight. not fat. and gosh chocolate tastes so nice. even though i usually save it for like when im a little down, but its so nice. specially strawberry flavoured chocolate. mm......~mouthwater~

anyways. hope everyoens enjoying their holiday! (i know some are already bored) but yea. see some of you sooon! but for now...再见

love kyexx

ehe....sorrry :(

sorry. my blog has been dead for a while. its shocking...but yea.

i was procrastinating about.....reading percy jackson. but after like....4 months? i starting reading it. some may know that im a pretty fast reader and so i finished the series in....4 days? less i think. haha. so now im ready to read the roleplay. (yesssss)

2 days of packed shopping (and i actually bought stuff)=feeeeeeling really good. and i actually bought cheap stuff! (like the asian i am). thank you to my fashion expert ;) shes out there somewhere. but it also meant dragging my mum around and discussing with her whether i should buy stuff. and now i have a headache. :( from the warm airconditioning of westfields and intense shopping.

which reminds me that i have to sleep early today. MUST! but i keep forgetting to sleep early. my parents are getting slightly pissy at me. haha. MUST!

YAY! going iceskating! and movies! i havent seen decent movies at the movies in ages. and im so excited. i remember the last time i went iceskating with my class friends, i could barely match their speed, let alone play tip. but.....im hoping to play tip and not trip. :) crossed fingers.

i have a question. not that im expecting any answers or comments. but. is there a purpose to everything? i wonder.....why is everything interlaced so perfectly? why is everything....so perfect? and yet...not perfect? why does everything come together in the end...even though at the time....it seems like the world is going to end? ok. thats more than a question. but honestly. i think the shopping...and love triangles...and growing up...and sumii's deep deep DEEP blogs (o.O i know weird combo).....has really brought to my attention some unexplained things...hmm....maybe im too young to be thinking of this....but im always curious arent i?

haha and my post ends here today. but ill try to blog more often. espcially since its the holidays.

love kyexx